Monday, August 17, 2009

When Prey Becomes Predator....

Fact or Fiction...African Men Cheat
I remember in high school, when we were done exams, we'd huddle our tables up and talk about 'stuff'
One being what would you do if your husband cheated.
So many people ran their mouths, but in the end, undoubtedly when faced with the scenario, I doubt anyone of them would have carried out their threats.
A lot of older women I spoke to replied like, 'yea, duh, they'll cheat, you just have to roll over and pretend it didnt happen. You're the one with the ring!'
But still, is that grounds for cheating?
I hold the sanctity of marriage under the oath you take before God, but then the Bible said that infidelity is the sin that unbinds us.
So is it a fact, based on the insecurity of women who dont want to fight, who are beginning to think 'Well if I leave him, where would I go?'
Is it a fact that, 'Men have this urge to conquer, to overcome their prey and when the challenge is a sexy secretary thats playing hard to get, they must show her otherwise?'
I personally, cannot stand cheating, right after beating a girl, is cheating.
I'd rather you walk away from me, than come and tell me to my face that you cheated, there is no better way to rip my heart out.
Like my brother always says, you dont 'just cheat'. Its not like you stumble into someone and you've cheated!
Think about it though there is a process.
You see the girl, and then think it over in your head, imagine what she would be like, then you open a line of communication, till you both get to a point where your are ripe for the deed.
This is why I would get mad, this is my reason to say I'd break up with you: Are you freaking telling me that at any point in that process, you didnt even think of your wife and the commitment you made to her? Even up to the point of having sex with her, foreplay, getting a condom, you dont even remember your wife, who you usually do this with?NOT ONCE!are you seriiious?
See thats disrespect to me, Chai, even thinking about it is hurting me!lol!
Out with you mehn! Thats me!I dont like it when people do things to me, that i know i respect them too much to do
I have heard a lot of guys rationalize why they have cheated, and all i hear is 'selfish,selfish, selfish!'
True too, not all guys cheat, but the problem is, its hard to like a fruit when you remember the day it almost choked you to death.
So is it a fact?, should women turn a blind eye and accept it as their fate?
What's peculiar is that when i asked guys, what they would do if their girlfriends cheated, they were so fast to say that they would cut her off, sharp sharp; and that got me confused because when i asked girls, some said, 'yea, we're done' but then the others sympathetically either blamed themselves or said they'll forgive.
What compels women to be sooooo 'understanding' that guys dont have?
Fiction? is it?
Is the sin of one man, mounted of rooftops? Am I over-exaggerating? Is it society that expects little from men, and so they in turn dont hesitate to disappoint at the drop of a hat
Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that women dont cheat, in fact i think they are more tactful when they do, but I can assure you 95% of women who cheat, were cheated on and are carrying out a cycle of revenge!
And isnt it retarded how men cheat on women with people they know.
Like a girl he met at work, who just lost everything; and then your wife goes out of her way to buy her stuff, get her all settled and thats who you shag?
Or a mutual friend who just came into town for an appointment and your girl trusts you soooooooooooooooooo much she says, the girl could sleep over at your place since she is stranded, and you cheat with her?
C'mon mehn....if its a fact that men really cannot control themselves, and have this natural urge to spread their wings, I fear what they would turn women to...
When they prey becomes predator? hmmm......


9jaqt said...

i absolutely detest when guys say they have a natural urge to cheat. IT IS A LIE! i have had a guy tell me how hard it is for a guy to control his urges when he is turned on. i counter with the fact that girl get turned on just as much...just because we do not have a thing that sticks out outside our bodies to show it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. for me, post- menstrual syndrome includes being horny 24-7 for about a week and that has not caused me to cheat.
i believe it's the societal expectations for men that has shaped the perception. society and women expects so little of men because from history men have been dissapointing when you expect them to be up standing and women have had to deal with it especially when there are children involved. There is no excuse for cheating, better to walk away than to cheat.

sorry 4 the long ass post...lmao

akaBagucci said...

I know a llot of married blokes who don't cheat.... perhaps more men cheat than do not....ultimately the difference between humans and animals is the ability to choose.... But then dudes who cheat do so with women....

Devine said...

9jaqt..abeg free ur mind
its a serious issue!
akabagucci, true men cheat with women, some of them know that these men are married but bone if the guy dsnt care, why shud they, plus have you seen the way these guys treat their mistresses? hmm, e go tempt u!

miss.fab said...

Some people cheat because they're greedy; some cheat because their wives pushed them to it (e.g. denied them sex, etc); some cheat because they miss their old lives.... no matter what your reason is, it's ultimately still an act of selfishness. Entering into a committed relationship with someone means that for once in your life you're obligated to think about and consider the feelings of someone other than yourself. No matter what.

There is no excuse for cheating.

Just my 2 kobo...

Rene said...

I can't really say what I'll do if my guy cheats on me...cuz i have a really special view about can sread that in my "So what's wrong with cheating?" post.

Buttercup said...

I really do hate the fact that some women agree with that crap about cheating being natural for men. That just gives the men more incentive to do so! I remember having a convo with an ex who was of the opinion that African men can't be satisfied with just one woman, it's just not possible. When I asked him how he'd feel if his wife cheated, he got angry and was like how can she use the same p***y he enters and where their kids came out from to sleep with another man? Like wtf? Isnt that just the height of chauvinism? Kai, I'm getting angry

Nice Anon said...

Make I tell una something.. I go tell my future husband if I marry .. The day you cheat.. just imagine me riding another man and spreading my legs really wide for him too. Nothing do us! If you cheat just know your wifey dey do the same thing too so long as you have that image in your head and your okay with it? Then we are good! nonsense and ingredients.

Tisha said...

cheating is wrong..
is wrong
is wrong

will never cheat
will not marry one who cheats

Anonymous said...

Cheating is just not justifiable and women are tough, mentally stronger than men (it's a fact) that's why they put up with it.

But me, like you is utter disrespect and if the guy has the guts to cheat on me, Imma throw him out like the slimy piece of scum that he is.

bonnie said...

cheating can be both emotional and physical..

it sucks when guys cheat and i've been one to blame myself too..because i felt i probably wasn't giving him what he wanted...

so to prevent the 'secret' cheating, some girls even let their bf's go out and sleep with other ladies if they don't want to give it up.. as long as they know he still loves them.

Devine said...

i think thats crap aussi
i heard the other day that will n jada smith have an open relationship
in like what the ??
what is the meaning of adultery again, so now society is trying to say that if you have permission from your husband then its ok?