Sunday, May 31, 2009

Giggidi Giggidi

...GidI mE!
Gidi money, Gidi milk even Gidi hair!
Whats going on?
The meaning of Gidi( if it had any!) is lost to me.
I declare myself Gidiswagg!!lol...OK seriously though, I'm not even sure if Gidi is a prefix you want to your name!
I asked a couple of people and they told me to them, it means the hustling in Lagos.
Like pure water hustling and aba runs? hmm.
I don't want that kind of Gidi to my name!Doesn't sound quite progressive!
What I actually wanted to say today is that... takes a special person to be insulted without their knowledge; my mother once told me.
When she said that, I raised my brow and nodded, but now her meaning is unfolded.
How dare anyone make you feel less than you really are?
Well, it takes a special person to be insulted without their knowledge!
The only way you can be upset, infuriated, heart broken, etc, by what anyone says to you is only if it registers to you that you've been insulted.
Insults defined is to treat with gross insensitivity, insolence, or contemptuous rudeness; but could it also mean to be stereotyped, categoriezed, defined as something by someone for their own personal reasons?
I find it to be an insult to be judged before given a chance to introduce yourself.
I think for too long a lot of people have been insulted, and dont even have a clue!
A little while ago, I realised to my fury that I have been one of those; who foolishly belittled my potential all because someone/society/stereotypes defined a limitation for me.
Drew an invinsible line and decided that I couldnt cross it.
How dare anyone make me feel less that I really am?
but then like I said before, you can only be hurt by an insult if you realize that you have been insulted.
I challenge you, to scan through your life, and see if in any way
, you have also been insulted.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Bleeding Rose...

...Bleeding Hearts
I'm stuck at cross roads.
I really shouldnt do this to myself.
See, I have been here before.
My heart feels as though it exists no more
How much i can take? I really do not know
My emotions are grated as I listen to yet another song, asking me, you and the world what love is?
Damn, I feel like I should weep for the death of love
What is love?
Is it this?, Me in tears while my heart silently bleeds?
silently screams
silently weeps
Argh, take it out, I want an antidote to this poison
Yes, poison!
We all need love but yet it works like a double edged sword!
One minute in pure bliss, the next in sincere pain and torture.
My sunshine is gone and I want it back!
Damn, I want it back
This, this house is empty, this lfe is an illusion simply because you're not in it anymore
My life is in shades of grey and black without you in it.
There, i said it!
Love, like a weed has made its way into my life and I cant get it out.
Crawled into my heart and under my skin.
Dont want it out.
What is love?
I know! I know what it is!
It's how even though you get on my every last nerve, I'm going to call you right after I am done writing this
It's in your laugh
Its in the way you say my name. It's the way you talk me through my fears.
Its in how I know i can count on you
I know, i know!
Its in how you overlook my flaws.
Its in your tender kisses
Its in the sun, the rain the snows and the storms, as you wrap your hands around me and vow never to let me go!
Its slow dancing to my favourite songs with you in the rain!
Its in who you are and what you mean to me
My sunshine is gone, please, please come back!
(post inspired by, whats love-Ayo, Pulling me back-MI and Darey-No stars)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Somewhere in-between, B.E.T repeating Diary of a mad black woman for the billionth time(if that is grammatically correct, I don't know!) and me deciding to watch Phat Girls, (please don't ask me why!)
I began to pull on my hair and scream, SHOOT ME PLEASE!
The horror, oh the horror!
To begin with, Phat girls!!
Mehn, i regard that movie as an insult to Nigeria on sooo many levels, if i knew who to sue, I'll be filing it now(if you know, tell me, I'll split the money with you)
Yes, I know, i brought this hurt and pain upon myself, by looking for the movie in the first place!
This boy had, 'I need you for green card' written all over him.
And then she asks him, "oh hope you're not doing this for a green card and mugu would have said yes, shey?
Nonsense, upon rubbish!
Then there is the fact that the men speak lousy Yoruba, and then call it 'Nigerian' in the subtitles.
Then at the restaurant where he proceeds to massacre a fish does he explain that, Fish heads are a huge delicacy in Nigeria;FISH HEAD?, like really, have you ever heard anyone say; please eat the entire fish, but leave me the head, yum!)-
THEN he claims that fish eyes are specially left with the fish head-for the men, because it gives men extra stamina.
What rubbish!
Fish Eyes, why don't we just buy him a basket of those things, huh?!
Why am I doing this to myself?
I really do not know!
so, then I say enough with this and shut down!
Then B.e.t and repetition!
sigh.....need i say more?
no, seriously, need I?
I actually really like that movie (Diary of a mad black woman!) on a number of levels, cus she experienced some hurt!
It goes to show that forgiving, isn't only about letting whatever hurt someone lay on you go but forgiving yourself as well.
My mum always told me that not forgiving someone is like retarding your own growth.
So many times, when people hurt you, they don't even know, and go on with their lives but YOU carry the pain and hurt like a sack of potatoes!Rotten and stinky, you carry it everywhere and it begins to grow on you and you become that which you hate!
Just had to put that out there.
I think I need to go to bed!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

If you don't know what to do with your money...

...Please give it to me!
I saw it as someone's status on face book a couple of days ago.
To begin with, I'm not a face book status hunter! Or anything, but I just happen to bump into these things!
OK, so back to what I was saying
It seems that the 'new thing' is to be a dumb spendthrift!
Yes, I know, the economy is hanging on by threads and we all are advised to spend spend, spend!!
Travel! buy, buy, buy and buy some more!!
But in the middle of all this, I am very sure that there are rather sensible things to invest in.
I mean, seriously
Popping Bottles, queuing in lines from one party to the next soaked from head to toe in much known labels, it’s simply ridiculous! I have seen people shivering like crack heads in the dead of winter to get into a party, for freaking what?!
It saddens me, that this attitude is common amongst students.
That's why I say it’s down right disrespectful!
In this economic time in which foreign currencies to a dollar are astronomically ridiculous, it’s downright inconsiderate to parents, when their children spend their hard earned money on what? Moet, Hypnotic that you piss out! I said it!
No beef required to this post,please.
I'm not beefing anyone and I'm not hating on anyone;I have money of my own, thank you very much! But seriously!
I am infuriated by the nonsense that this is becoming.
People, daily are subscribing to different levels of unnecessary vanity.
Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying don't take care of yourself, don't, buy good things for yourself but be aware of the line.
Be considerate to remember that there are people less fortunate than you are and that there's a tomorrow that can be saved for.
If anything, start a business!
In my life, I have met very very rich people, and find it rather fascinating that empty barrels make the loudest noise, if you know what I mean!
The richer you are the less you have to say anything about it it shows!
Just recently, I was speaking to a group of people and we were talking about funding charities; the amount required was between $5-$20; no scam to fund tuition, accommodation and health supplies for children and the reaction I got was stunning.
I was told that the tough economic times did not help for charities, in fact they themselves had become charity cases; I sympathized with them and wished them better circumstances in future.
What shocked, hurt, infuriated and inspired this post was no less than three days after this discussion, I saw their pictures at an even that cost no less that $20 to get in and the least expense for the night would have been approximately $100-$200 that's if they had been modest!
Where is the line?
Where do you stop having a heart, neglecting all, so that people would see you as some big shot!
What makes you 'big'?
What makes you strong is not the silver and gold you have stuck up in your wallet!
It's you ability to care!
No one remembers! I assure you with every ounce of blood in me; that no one will remember the 'baller of the year', 'the person with the most swag', ten years from now, no one will!
Society, life, nature, appreciates those who care, who remember other people!
Look around you, there are people, your age and younger who have taken the same amount of money and chosen to make a difference!
I heard of a young lady in Hamilton, that started an orphanage, groups of ladies in Windsor On, some dudes over in the States somewhere, as well. They don't have two heads, no they aren't mutants, nor did they win the lottery, they just remember to care!
My life. Every breath I take, is to make a difference to something, to someone. My swagg is in knowing that when I die, people can stand over my grave and say that their life is changed because I existed.
If you don’t know what to do with your money, and have it in excess, please...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

People Tell Me that I've Changed...

...But the truth is that I've stopped living my life their way.
I just caught that on someone's face book profile and it was too hot for me not to write something about!
In a weird way, it had my name written all over it, because recently I have heard people say that to me, a lot.
Some say that I have suddenly become to pompous to ride in their crowd, some say that I have gone cold, some say, some say; but bottom line is that I have changed, and there's no denying that.
Indeed, the saying is true that people denounce what they cannot comprehend.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a draft to that. A post, very similar to this topic line.
The original title was `My Apology'.
I felt that I needed make a formal apology to everyone that feels that I have in some way disappointed them, hurt them, become too 'big' for them-whatever!
It’s no fault of yours to be upset with me, for I have indeed spent too long trying so hard to be everything to everyone, that when I suddenly pulled the brakes and stopped; it must have shocked you.
I realize that the only person I can be is me!
I'm treating myself with severe importance, for if I don’t, no one else will!
I have lived life, putting people first, and always been placed somewhere irrelevant on their list, and now, I simply have pulled the brakes
Yes, indeed, this is My Apology!, for all those who I have stretched myself thin for, and suddenly stopped, for those who I used to call everyday and make sure they’ve had three meals and a warm place to sleep, for all those who I have held tissues for and given my shoulder for them to cry on, for all those who I was strong for through their weak times, and now it seems I am no more.
No, it’s not that I stopped caring.
No, it’s not that I dislike you, or that you've upset me.
None of that!
It is that I discovered that I need me too; I need to be there for me.
I have changed
Damn I have changed, but the truth is that I've stopped living my life YOUR way!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Love me Like it was made for us.....

I had the most- I don’t know what word or phrase, powerful, intense, mind-blowing weekend ever.
I had an encounter with God.
Face to Face, one on one encounter.
It isn’t my first time, experiencing this, but as with the first time, I learnt so much about myself and about God.
It’s amazing how people run away from God, amazing.
For simplicity I'll like to put them in two or three groups.
The group who blame God
Have you ever heard people say, if there is a God, why is there so much evil in the world; if there is a God, why doesn’t He stop evil from happening?
Well to begin with, who is responsible for evil and what is evil and what exactly should God stop?
Deep breath!!
Everyone has a choice. God gave man this thing called free will, which means that I have a choice over the words I speak to people the extent of my anger, etc.
People have a choice, so okay maybe it isn’t so black and white, right?
So why is there so much evil and why doesn’t God stop it?
Well, I believe wholeheartedly that there’s a devil that seeks the destruction of man and would stop at nothing to hurt God.
I use a basic transitivity equation.
God loves you
Devil hates God= Devil hates you
Then I hear people say why doesn’t God stop evil from happening, but what exactly is evil?
Well by definition, it is a broad term used to describe intentional negative moral acts or thoughts that are cruel, unjust, or selfish.
Hold it! Please tell me you noticed the thought part of the definition.
So say I thought about shooting someone, or telling a lie, or cheating or stealing whatever;l if God is to stop all evil, where should he start from , my thoughts or wait till I do them?
I don’t get it, how can you do something and then blame God, I don’t get it. People choose daily to commit evil, yet become so self righteous when evil is done to them, and then blame God.
Then there are those who genuinely have faced unjust evil; the death of family, rape, etc, and have done nothing.
I totally understand why one would say something like, why didn’t God stop it from happening.
Well like I said before, God genuinely doesn’t intend for bad things to happen to people.
Life is life in the sense that people will die at their appointed time, how and when, I don’t know, but they will.
But the reaction is what is critical, the devil is more than overjoyed when people blame God. It’s a lie. I know more than anything that it’s a lie.
I'll stop here for now, but I’ll say something and I'll repeat it over and over.
You only have one life to live and in it a significant choice to make, more important that any you'll ever make.
When you want to go on a vacation, you check out hotels to stay in, routes to go through, restaurants to eat in etc; but it’s amazing the little research carried out on where you'll spend all eternity.
Here it is----There's a God, who loves you and wants everything to be good for you; wants to bless you and make life just smooth and amazing.
And then there is a devil that hates you with hatred you'll never understand, wants to deceive you and harm you.
It come down to this, what’s your choice, whose side are you on?
It’s that simple!
p.s....quick shout out to my friend's new single--

Monday, May 11, 2009


Have all the good men gone?
Is there any such thing as a good man anymore, or do we just settle for whatever we can find now?
I am one of those who believes that in the world exists a perfect gentle man, no, perfect gentle men like pearls, slowly with time crafted to perfection by sensible parents.
I believe it’s true!
But there's a growing crisis in which these few, very few are becoming extinct, and then the question

Where are they? What's happening to them?
Well, like in every extinction, there are huge Godzilla like females that tear these poor things to shreds.
Breaking a heart isn’t good enough for this Godzillas, no. They totally annihilate every last piece of good in these rare breeds.
It’s serious.
Just this morning I was chatting with a good friend of mine and I realized that I had watched him grow from a shiny white pearl to a dull spray painted clone of himself.
What are women doing to good men?
I find them confusing, females. I honestly think that they do not know what they want!
Who finds a good thing and rather than cherishes it, vandalizes it?
Worse then is the fact that they prefer to coast with notorious heart breakers and then cry in the end.
I’m alarmed and upset.
Where are all the good men?
Day after day, I receive alerts of the death of another good man.
A man whose life principles are, to be honest, kind and faithful. To be loving, tender and sweet. To shower his mate with gold, rubies and pearls.

And what's wrong with that?
But it seems that females these days have traded their knight in shiny armor for grandfather clock wearing flava flavs!
So therefore, I am pleading with the Godzillas of this world.
Please leave our knights alone. If you meet a knight, cross the road! If he tries to talk to you, run!
Run and consume the gutter rats and leave the caviar for people who know what to do with it.

Why make good females suffer for your damage? Do you know what they have to do to undo the damage that you Godzilla's have caused?

In my opinion every 'playur', notorious heart breaker, cold as ice man that exists in this life was once a sweet lil old gentleman that bumped into a Godzilla!

So I beg you, Please, I refuse to mourn the death of another good man.
And please the few good men left do not give up!

I know it hurts to trust, love, be faithful and true, sweet and pure, and have someone take that for granted and treat you unfairly, but please do not change who you are!

There are pearls like you out there, who will math you love for love, trust for trust!

Please keep fighting the good fight, till you meet your identical pearl.