Thursday, June 4, 2009

Standing On Needles...

Its amazing how you can wake up and be so certain of the flow of the day; especially if the days before have followed a certain tempo.
It`s amazing how when I woke up this morning, I didn’t expect to see a couple of my old friends.
These friends of mine and I go waaaay back.
I woke up this morning; same plans most mornings, brush teeth, pray, shower, have breakfast as I watch C.S.I, write, listen to music (I know it’s a lot!) nothing extra-ordinary.
Till sometime after the sun had set.
I heard someone knock at my door and I sighed.
See I have a nasty habit of wanting people to call before they show up at my door. I pretended not to be home, but they didn’t go away.
`Hold on’ I sighed again.
You can’t begin to imagine my shock and horror as I saw who stood before me.
`Well, don’t just leave us standing here!’ one hissed and brushed by me
In a stunned daze I shut the door.
`Hi, old friend! `
I didn’t realize it at the time but I was shivering.
`You didn’t look so excited to see us!` Another pined.
You see, these weren’t just old friends. Like I said we go waaay back.
Way back as in, we had this love hate relationship going on. They offered me protection of some sorts I offered them a place to stay.
`Cat caught your tongue? ` The third asked.
`What are you doing here?’ I managed to stutter eventually.
Before me stood, my old pals; Fear, Anxiety and Doubt.
They look at each other and then at me and laughed.
Anxiety grabbed my hands behind my back, doubt pinned me down while Fear simply lit a cigar and puffed in my face.
`C`mon, don’t be this way ` Fear chuckled.
`We used to be buddie buddies, now you act like you don’t know us. You don’t reply our messages, don’t call us back; what’s going on? `
Fear leaned so close to me that I could feel its clammy skin on mine and shuddered.
Anxiety pinched me, till l was forced to scream.
While doubt just ran its fingers through my hair.
`Please, let me go’ I whined.
Their eerie laughter chilled my bones.
`God help me` I sobbed.
Now I really got fear mad, it grabbed my throat and squeezed hard, repeating what used to be sweet lullabies in my ear.
Whispering words that had been my shelter my comfort zone, that had held our relationship together.
But somewhere between Fear choking me and Anxiety pulling me down; I remembered how I`d kept them at bay for so long; I remembered how we `broke up`
I remembered that they had no power to influence me, the only power they had, like any friendship, was the one I authorized them to have over me.
In one swift movement, like someone who possessed a black belt (in my mind!) I spun and drove my knee straight into Fears chin.
Pulled Anxiety from behind me and slammed it to the ground.
Now Doubt had always been the coward amongst them all, and was already at the door when I pulled it back by its hair, and slapped it. Mehn I slapped it!
I was furious, enraged, mad and a kung fu warrior!
How dare these creatures, these low lives, step into MY house and act like they were boss?
How dare me, even me, open the door and tolerate such nonsense.
I was MAD!
`Get out of my house!’ I yelled
And never come back!
Fear chuckled,’ you think this is over, dont you? You think you`ve won`
Anxiety and doubt had vanished at this time and Fear and I just stood face to face.
I’ll be back, you know you need me!`it said when I didnt reply
I laughed out loud and said `...
Please fill in the blanks with what you`d say to Fear, or have had to say to Fear!`


naija shawty said...

first baby

juiceegal said...

Ahn ahn Naija shawty u again?? lol
Second jare

juiceegal said...

I love how u played with the words,very well written.
But mehn u really dealt with fear anxiety and Doubt,see blows and kicks,im feelin sorry 4 dem
But seriously we as humans have control over these emotions,its only wen we let them dominate our lives that they have a hold over us

Anonymous said...

My God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, love and a frkn SOUND mind!

Yea baby!

I love this Be-e.

I will share this with someone today abeg.
I have just been encouraged.

HRM said...

i was gettin really confused for a minute...

nice nice...

Be-e Warrior said...

who was ur black belt
i know it was someone

chayoma said...

you truly showed them who is boss!