Off the Cuff, Yet Undercover

First of all, I'm freaking out!
I totally thought today was the 30th!
Dayum, how time flies!
Eish, and the closer September becomes!
I'm not happy at all!
Hmmm, not at all, so much to do, soooobbbbbbbbbbbb!
That depressing note aside!
I'm off the cuff today yet undercover!
I realized I havent really spoken about me in a long while, if at all even!
See, I love to write and I make it my inspirational business, to be able to absorb people's emotions and write them out as mine
:-)
Today though, its about what on Devine's mind
I'm unsettled at the moment, very disturbed and disturbed again
Very disturbed is an understatement.
I was just on Fabulously Unwritten's blog and she had a picture of a bag she was *hint, hinting* on for her birthday
No biggie you'd say, right?
But as a female, I am soooooooooo dead when it comes to some things, and just now it bothers me!
Yesterday, I went shopping for a gift for my mum, and thought to buy her a bag, but come and see me and my dilemma between clutch, purse(all i'd call wallet!but apparently it aint!) and bags
Sigh
You see when it comes to things like this, i'm like your brother!
You know when you drag your brother or boyfriend shopping when they would rather watch a game! Yea thats me! and it bothers me
I see all my friends react to bags like its walking diamonds, name brands here and there, and I am as blank as talking to a guy about sanitary towels!
It bothers me, that my best friend is shopping on the Mac website for brushes
I'm like, Say what now?
There's brush for face again? Ah ah, whats the p?
I feel very unfeminine at the moment! An its irritating me!
But at the same time, I felt been unfeminine for a long ass time!
Reasons? If you wanna know, ask in the comment box and I'll tell you! he he he
And that it bothers me now!, I dont know why
lol
You should have seen me the day I walked over to the counter and paid for my first mascara
Chai, you'd have thought it was something else that I bought or i won the lottery, i'm serious!
Let's not even talk about the day I used it!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i was walking around like i had gold on my lashes!
Hisssssssssss, its not supposed to be that way!I admit there is a background story to the death of the yay! happy go lucky, sing song woman in me!
I'm frustrated right now though!
I stood in that store for good 30mins, just staring at the bags like jamb questions, for what now?!
played einie minie mannie mooh, father has a donkey.....
sigh
I am proud to say tho that I eventually walked out victorious!!(triumphant music, and me walking in slow motion with a grin!) and must have made a damn good choice for every store I walked into after that, people peeked into my shopping bag and gasping
'Oh may i please see that', 'where did you get that bag from', 'ow, Ben, we have to go by that store i want one!'
Chei, i admit my head was swelling a bit!
silly novice me(te he he he)
sigh
What am I going to do with myself?
I do shoes easily!!! ha ha haaaaaaaa, aint no probs there(except i have this thing for buckles on shoes, I cant bring myself to do it!) (at least that was till yesterday!) ha ha!
and I bless God, for giving me a body that can make calico look sexy!! but I feel like something is missing and I dont want to force it out, push myself and not be myself, you know?
Oh well, Lord help me to find passion for femininity, its who I am supposed to be afterall
Right?