Wednesday, June 2, 2010

**Insert Title Here**

Okay, I am sorry for not writing anything in ages.
I really am so sorry.
Time just seems to fly by and there seem to be not a lot of hours in the day!
Plus twitter has a little blame here.
Twitter is like the mistress to my facebook and my blog, and I am so sorry for cheating.
That being said I'l like to introduce you to a new thing i would like to try, taking a cue from Myne Whitman i would like to do an interactive story, so I start a story with a couple of characters and you follow up and take whatever creative turns you deem fit!
I've missed blogging so much, even though not so evident by my infrequent postings :(
I dont even know where to start!
I guess I'll just keep it simple today!
Say I'm back, leave you with a lil sm' and promise to be back soon!

"Not Again"

"Oh no!"
"Not again!" I cried.
"I told you he was a two timing thief. See" she said pointing at my boyfriend and the girl in the diner.
My bloodthirsty girlfriends, in the car with me.
"If I were you I will show them pepper. The nerve!" Another said
"In broad daylight? They have no shame!" another hissed.
I had to think.
It had to be a business meeting, I rationalized.
"Maybe it isn’t what we are thinking. Maybe she is his friend from work." I said
"Friend osi wo? lati bo?"Funke snapped
You see, Funke was a fiery person. In my opinion, a whole lot of talk no action. Recently divorced, highly bitter.
"wo, you are too soft, Bunmi. It’s irritating me!" she shook in a way that made her gigatic bosoms wiggle.
"If you want to fight Funke, go to the market!" Sade said
Sade, a warrior in a different field. Not a lot of words, but volumes of action
" do you know who she is? Have you seen her before?" she said lighting up cigarette.
"Oo-oh all this is English! I say we go there and find out ourselves"
'Oh, Lord, how did I end up with friends like these?' I thought to myself.
Ireti, now her, was demented.
I met her through Sade and Funke. Sade, Funke, Kemi and I all went to the same school. We had been friends since high school.
"omo, didirin ni e oh! Ja lo men!"
" what are doing here in this car? If you no wan get down sort this babe out me I go do am for you oh!" Ireti fumed
"tell her oh, at least someone is on the same page as I am!" Funke bobbed nudging my headrest.
My head was aching. I didn’t want to confront anyone. I wasn’t in the mood for a fight; the plan had been to go to the mall. Why this petrol station. Why did I even leave my house?
"Kemi do you have any advice?"
Error! Error! Error!
I shouldn’t have asked Kemi. She was a lawyer, a very Martin Luther kind of lawyer.
"Bunmi, how many times are you going to find your man cheating on you before you know that its time to teach him a lesson?"
"how long for us all? My dear what better time than now? These men! They think of us as their toys and their slaves. My friends I tell you, this most end and its going to start with this one!"
"Funke, Ireti, Sade, ja a lo!" she rallied the troupe.
They removed their earrings and bracelets, hungry for a fight
"you guys now, chill small. What if..
"What if kini, we have been sitting here for how long? Hmm, answer now? For what? Bunmi see if you don’t stand up for this one thing all theses dudes would keep playing you, we are your friends we cant sit here and watch this injustice" kemi said soothingly.
"she is right, I mean c’mon, how long is this going to go on for. We are here and we are going to stand by you."sade continued.
We got out the car. I was still unsure about the whole thing, at least before he bent to kiss her
"oh hell no!" my rage was on
"uh hmm, that’s what I want to here! Let’s tear that mother* down!" sade cried
"asawo!’ ireti called from the door
Oh it was on, my girlfriends at the table before me, the one whose man was cheating!
"Your secret is out!" there was no stopping Ireti
"Dayo you have anything to say about this?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"ma bere! Olosi ni!" Sade pushed his head.
"and you, hello " Funke’s game was on
"there’s no need for all this embarrassment, Bunmi, we can talk about this in a more civilized way. It doesn’t have to be like this." Dayo attempted to explain.
"Bunmi I am warning you and your girls to stop all this nonsense now, I am being very patient but it would run out soon."he said
" let it run out now, do the worst you can do" Sade grabbed the jug of water on the table and poured it on him.
"now get angry, I dare you" she smirked.
"Bunmi, Bunmi!, get your girls and quietly leave. I am warning you!" his voice rising a notch.
‘Excuse me, can you please get out, you are being rude’ the girl said
"Is that right? you can still open your mouth to be pho-ne-ing for me." Funke slapped her hard across her face
"ok that’s it, Bunmi leave now!" Dayo bellowed.
People in the diner had been watching the drama without intervention, but the whole thing was going too far.
"excuse me, ladies. This isn’t the place for this kind of thing, if you want to fight please leave"
"What did you say? Who called you into this? When he was cheating and kissing her and all that nonsense, it wasn’t the place?" She stood up to the manager.
"Listen, go get a napkin and clean some tables or something, just stay out of this okay!"
Behind her, Funke was on another round of slaps, only God knows what the girl had said to her, but she fumed, her nostrils flaring.
"okay, that’s enough! Get out now!"
"We are not going anywhere!"
"security! Security!"
I knew I should have stayed at home, nothing confirmed my suspicions than the three beefy men that stood behind me.
I turned slowly, to see that they were indeed the security guards.
I would never forget the knock that landed on my head, plus the fact that I cried out a rather loud
‘Jesus!!’
The next five minutes went in a blur. As slaps greeted knocks and whipping. I knew I should have stayed at home.
I ran as fast as I could as one security guard whipped my back
‘My god!’ the koboko had like five whips
Sade and kemi were in the car in a flash. I was still struggling to escape my assailant.
why me? I didn’t even say much, I wondered as I ran.
Eventually I got into the car.
My back brutally bruised.
"Bunmi, Bunmi! Chai, this babe can sleep! We are going to stop for some petrol." Kemi said
"hmm, didn’t we just get petrol?" I asked dizzily
"Ah ah Bunmi, you really slept ey!"sade laughed
'Thank God that was a dream' I thought.
We pulled into the petrol station. Ireti flirting with the man in the car next to ours. I could swear that the girl wasn’t normal.
"come oh, Bunmi. No be you bobo dey der so?" Funke asked
"na im ! who be that? shooo Bunmi come see, your bobo dey cheat!"
‘oh no"
"Not again!" I cried.

6 comments:

Sylvester II Kay-Adade said...

sick new "be-e" design.

if i was the insert a title, it should be: "a peace offering"...seeing as you confessed, apologized and offered us a lengthy story.

it is summer and boring so this is something to keep our brains engaged lol.

on my part, i forgive you =D

neefemi said...

i like... unfortunately have no contributions for u, but keep it up

9ja said...

yay.. i love the new design and the story even though i am yet to FULLY accept ur apology cuz u kept us hanging 4 a while. nywaiz welcum baq

Anonymous said...

dont know about the huge bee, i think its kinda cheesy, ( i have a right to my opinions!)
The story was okay, i like that you dont know if she dreamt twice or it'd happened before.
Didnt know you were gone, just bumped into your blog.
Hope you update it soon

miss b said...

just stbmled on ur blog and love this piece, would love 2 do a follow up if u r really interested un making it interactive! holla at me on my blog ;-)

Lady X said...

LOOL! Omg I laughed so much reading this post! I don't think I've laughed this much at a blog post in a while. The way you described everything was so funny! The way her friend pushed the guys head and the way the security guard whipped you!